A third of a life

In an attempt to atone for my shockingly slack blogging, I have cobbled together all the posts I have made about Evie on GU in the past year.

20 Apr 2006

Evie got her coat, teddy, teddy pushchair and purse together the other day, and then demanded 'a pound' and for me to open the front door so she could go and buy bread. I swear, if I had, she would have gone and done it. I took her to the shops later, she threw a paddy, natch, and I ignored it, started to walk off, and then she said 'bye mummy, my going to work' and started walking off in the other direction waving, completely unphased.

30 Apr 2006

Since deciding on Wednesday (26^th) that she wants to use a toilet from now on, Evie is toilet trained and has been dry every day.

18 Jun 2006

Evie was up at 6, and I spent half an hour trying to persuade her that it was night-time, and cats would laugh at her for being up when it was their time to play, and Everyone Else In The World Was Asleep, and she'd be grumpy and cross all day, and so would I, and my eyes hurt I was so tired. Her response?

"have some eyedrops mummy, then we can go downstairs"

26 Jun 2006

Evie keeps talking about someone called Diddy, who has a back story so convoluted and specific, I have to conclude that Diddy is imaginary. But if he/she is, then they are a fairly useless imaginary friend, as he/she never seems to be around.

26 Jun 2006

Minor, but hilarious toddler tantrum at the fair this evening, prompted by the fact that when she managed to hook a duck, the actual duck was not the prize.

23 Jul 2006

I need to have words with Adam. Evie was marching round the garden today, singing a corrupted version of the Balamory song:

Eddybod-y, eddy-one

Come inside and wipe your bum.

28 Jul 2006

Last night was night 1 of Operation Big Girl's Bed, which is going down like a cup of cold sick so far. At 2.30am Adam found her under the bed, perpendicular to it, with her head sticking out under the bedside table. She wasn't too chuffed.

After putting the last batch of flea treatment on the cat, I overheard Evie telling my mum that it was to stop him doing a sneeze.

26 Aug 2006

Evie told me a story today. It went: Once upon a time, there was a little girl called Mummy. She was brave and strong and PRETTY! You're wonderful. The end. Do you want a dummy?

29 Aug 2006

I took Evie to the Doctor this morning, for what look like glue sniffing spots near her mouth.

GP: Does she have problems with excema? She's got a lot of dry, flaky skin around her mouth.

Moi: Um no, that's caked on milk and spit. I forgot to wash her face.

12 Sep 2006

In the coffee shop yesterday, the aircon was broken - I thought I was going to expire and wanted to sit outside. Evie demurred. *I* not hot mummy, *I* not sweating mummy. I want to sit INSIDE.

14 Sep 2006

My Mum & Dad's friend Pat visited today. My mum was a bit perplexed as Evie took to him immediately, climbing up on his knee and singing to him within seconds. Usually she takes a while to warm to strangers. Turns out she thought he was Postman Pat, and that the absence of Jess was explained by her staying in the van outside.

18 Oct 2006

Tonight I had a glass of wine. Evie instructed me not to drink it all, or I would fall over. Again. Is there anything you can give them to make their memories worse?

20 Oct 2006

Mabel at Nursery had a birthday today, and brought fun-size Smartie boxes for all the other kids. Evie remembered I like Orange ones best and gave me all her orange ones! Hooray!

Oct 30, 2006 GMT

Me: What do you want for Christmas?

Evie: A baby.

Me: What, a baby doll?

Evie: No. A real baby.

Me: Ah.

Nov 5, 2006

Tried to warn her about the dangers of fireworks and scaring the poor kid witless by accident.

Adam lights the smallest, weediest firework you ever saw:

Evie: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! Will daddy have to go in a ambulance now?

27 Nov 2006

As part of a medical study, I have to take a 24 hour urine sample today. What was the first thing Evie bellowed to Gigi?

MY MUMMY DOES A WEE IN A BUCKET!

Dec 5 2006

I was leaning over Evie yesterday, not yet buckled into my underpinnings, and she insisted on toeing my bosoms, going 'wobble wobble wobble!'

Her paternity is not in any doubt then.

Dec 12, 2006

Evie's first carol concert today. It was ACE. She sang mightily and did all the actions.

Jan 5, 2007

Evie has started calling me Bottom, and asking people if they want to see her bottom, then pulling a moonie. Not sure how to address this issue.

Jan 26, 2007

Evie has invented a game where she sits in a bin. She calls it Bingo.

April 2^nd 2007

Whilst trying to sort out the office, Evie decided to play ‘gym’. The game of gym is played in the nip, with wrist weights attached to her ankles. She does star jumps and various other exercises and then gets on a plane to go home.

Apr 13, 2007

Evie wants to be a 'policeman and ambulance driver or something like that' when she grows up, and is obsessed with dialling 999. We have had to emphasise what sort of circumstances she is allowed to do so. She has boiled it down to 'If Mummy *AND* Daddy *BOTH* fall down the stairs and are lying like this.' (Lies prostate on the floor with head at a very peculiar angle)

She nearly shat with excitement today when she saw the aftermath of a mild car shunt.